Super Bowl 101

A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she liked the game.
'I liked it, but I couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents,' she said.
'What do you mean?' he asked.
'Well, everyone kept yelling, 'Get the quarter back!'

Note: This post is suitable for woman or anyone else who wishes to gain a (very) basic understanding of the Super Bowl. And of course, to make things interesting, this is written from the perspective of a woman who knows nothing about this sport.

As Super Bowl Sunday inexorably draws near, I find myself in the familiar, annual arguments with my football fan friends; the Saints vs. Colts debate.

Okay, so this might be a lie (and a rather large one at that). On the contrary, I am the one standing there, nodding politely, pretending to have the very slightest of idea as I listen to you juggling the stats and talk about formation and strategy. To be frank, if I wasn't relentlessly being reminded of the Super Bowl by the news, radio and my darling husband this day would merely pass me by.

Initially, I must admit, it was an upsetting realization to discover that the Super Bowl wasn't about soup, a bowl or shoes (shoe-per bowl). Rather, it was to my disappointment that I learnt that all of this hype was surrounding a game where big husky men fight over a leather ball and more specifically do it for a measly quarter.

Knowing that I want to earn my place on the barstool this year (and that I don’t want to be banned from the living room entirely for asking too many questions) I knew that I’d have to have at least a general idea why to yell, when to yell and at whom.

So, to those of you who are interested and like me only know that the teams are named after angels and animals, that there is a concert in the middle of the show (game, whatever) and that Carrie Underwood is singing the National Anthem (love her) here are the essentials of this game

Football is a battle between two teams, with each team striving to score more points than the other by advancing a ball made of pigskin; it is a game based on selfish motives: every player wants the ball, every team wants to win, and no one ever feels sorry for the pig.

Poor pig.

While continuing my research I kept coming across words like airing it out, interception, fumble, punt (::got bored, started looking at baking recipes::) nickel defense, rush, tackle and blitz. Yawn.

All of this and I can say that I’m no farther ahead (okay, it’s not like I did hours of research). It looks like I’ll be resorting to my old ways. As I have a tendency to do with most sports (I like to watch and at least attempt to be a supportive wife), I'll likely choose the team I want to win by the color of their jersey, the best fan team spirit and in this case (one of the few perks of football), the dancing by their team’s cheerleaders.

I think it is safe to assume that I won’t be sitting on the barstool this year. Maybe next year…